I was reading the news earlier today and the name Benjamin (my son's name) caught my eye. I was absolutely sickened by what I read. Tracy Hermann and James Sargent left their 5 month old son, Benjamin, for 8 days strapped in his car seat in their home, with no care the entire time. His parents, and I use the term loosely, took care of themselves, played video games, came and went from their home, but did nothing for this child. The mothers (again term used loosely) last contact with him "was the night before police were notified. Then, she allegedly told police she "looked at the baby in the crib and presumed he was sleeping so she said she stuck a bottle between the baby and the side of the car seat so that when he woke up, he could grab it and feed himself," Lyons said in open court."
Link to the article is here: http://www.pjstar.com/stories/022108/TRI_BFRH57AL.064.php)
WTH? Really, I don't even have the words to describe how this makes me feel. That poor little boy suffered needlessly at the hands of these monsters and he didn't deserve any of it. My only comfort at this moment is that thankfully now he is an angel and in the hands of someone who loves him. I hope his "parents" rot in hell for the rest of their lives. They deserve no less.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Sleep
When I had my son (almost 3 years ago now) I had no idea that the most stressful thing for me would be sleep. Not missing it on my part because honestly these days I get 8 hours a night fairly consistently. Even when he was a newborn my husband and I had the perfect setup because my husband can survive on less sleep whereas I need more. He would stay up until about 4 in the morning with Ben and I would sleep from 8 pm until then. Then I would get up and my husband would sleep until about 10 am. It worked out perfectly for us and neither of us felt sleep deprived. I was also a stay at home mom during that time so that helped me out as well. When I went back to work a year after he was born (what a great year that was - I loved it!) he was already pretty established in his bedtime sleep routine and sleeping thru the night. We had a few odd nights here and there when he was sick or scared as he got older but for the most part he slept well.
So where is the stress of it all you may ask? Well first it started when at night time he would not fall asleep if we left the room. He would scream bloody murder and while I wasn't against crying it out to a point he was too hysterical for me to be okay with that. So I made the decision to stay with him at night until he fell asleep. If you read my previous entries in my blog I tried other things along the way, nightlights, leaving the door open etc., but really at the end of the day he just wanted his mommy. I don't see anything wrong with that so I made the choice to stay with him, usually about 20 minutes, until he falls asleep. When he moved into his big boy bed I didn't even hesitate laying in bed with him until he falls asleep. He sleeps thru the night just fine and rarely wakes up and if he does he manages to get himself back to sleep. He goes to bed the same time every night and we have no problems.
Again, where is the problem? Well even though he does all that at night it is still 8:30 before he goes to sleep, sometimes 8:45. May not seem too late and he gets the required number of hours of sleep, but honestly I am done by that point. After working all day, taking care of him all night, and then putting him to bed, by the time he falls asleep I am a ball of mush. Any plans to accomplish anything are out the window because generally I can't even put a sentence together. I am physically and mentally exhausted at that point. Not to mention as I just mentioned I require sleep, 8 hours usually, to be productive the next day. So generally I am in bed by 9:30, 10:00 at the latest. Which leaves me about an hour to unwind and accomplish anything.
Then to top it all off my son has decided he no longer needs naps. Not true mind you, he does still need them, but he will fight me tooth and nail on them. I used to fight him back and everyday dreaded the moment of naptime because I knew it would be a battle and somedays I would end up in tears. So I resorted to the whole driving in the car trick because most days that is the only way he will fall asleep and I didn't have the energy to fight him anymore. It works but then generally I end up having to go somewhere and just sit in the car with him while he sleeps. Not that much fun for me.
So the most stressful part for me has been that I can never turn off until my baby is asleep. I will not allow myself to let go and relax until I know he is safe and sound in sleepy town. At the point I will allow my sub conscious to take over but at least then I feel I can relax and stop being Mommy for just a little while. I think most parents reading this know exactly what I am talking about. I struggle to find a balance for myself and the lack of downtime during the day, and the need to spend the extra time to put him to bed takes away even more time. It has been the most stress for me so far as a mother. I try to remind myself though that these times won't last forever so I should appreciate and hold onto each moment possible before he starts kicking me out of his room to be left alone!
So where is the stress of it all you may ask? Well first it started when at night time he would not fall asleep if we left the room. He would scream bloody murder and while I wasn't against crying it out to a point he was too hysterical for me to be okay with that. So I made the decision to stay with him at night until he fell asleep. If you read my previous entries in my blog I tried other things along the way, nightlights, leaving the door open etc., but really at the end of the day he just wanted his mommy. I don't see anything wrong with that so I made the choice to stay with him, usually about 20 minutes, until he falls asleep. When he moved into his big boy bed I didn't even hesitate laying in bed with him until he falls asleep. He sleeps thru the night just fine and rarely wakes up and if he does he manages to get himself back to sleep. He goes to bed the same time every night and we have no problems.
Again, where is the problem? Well even though he does all that at night it is still 8:30 before he goes to sleep, sometimes 8:45. May not seem too late and he gets the required number of hours of sleep, but honestly I am done by that point. After working all day, taking care of him all night, and then putting him to bed, by the time he falls asleep I am a ball of mush. Any plans to accomplish anything are out the window because generally I can't even put a sentence together. I am physically and mentally exhausted at that point. Not to mention as I just mentioned I require sleep, 8 hours usually, to be productive the next day. So generally I am in bed by 9:30, 10:00 at the latest. Which leaves me about an hour to unwind and accomplish anything.
Then to top it all off my son has decided he no longer needs naps. Not true mind you, he does still need them, but he will fight me tooth and nail on them. I used to fight him back and everyday dreaded the moment of naptime because I knew it would be a battle and somedays I would end up in tears. So I resorted to the whole driving in the car trick because most days that is the only way he will fall asleep and I didn't have the energy to fight him anymore. It works but then generally I end up having to go somewhere and just sit in the car with him while he sleeps. Not that much fun for me.
So the most stressful part for me has been that I can never turn off until my baby is asleep. I will not allow myself to let go and relax until I know he is safe and sound in sleepy town. At the point I will allow my sub conscious to take over but at least then I feel I can relax and stop being Mommy for just a little while. I think most parents reading this know exactly what I am talking about. I struggle to find a balance for myself and the lack of downtime during the day, and the need to spend the extra time to put him to bed takes away even more time. It has been the most stress for me so far as a mother. I try to remind myself though that these times won't last forever so I should appreciate and hold onto each moment possible before he starts kicking me out of his room to be left alone!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Disturbing News Article - Grandmother accused of abusing 2 year old grandson
This is one of those stories that absolutely tears me up inside. I read it earlier today and cried for this little boy. Delores Henderson, 55 year old grandmother is accused of abusing her two year old grandson. A police officer states that he saw her ram the boys stroller into the curb, pick the boy up by his shirt and then throw him back into the stroller. The boy lost consciousness as a result of the ordeal. I get so upset when I read these stories and then look at my little boy and imagine someone doing that to him. I can't even fathom that kind of behavior to a precious child. Sure I get frustrated by some things he does but it's never anything bad enough to warrant that reaction. I don't know whose mother that was but if it was my mother and she did that to my son (her grandchild) she would never see him again. Same result if it was my husband's mother. Thankfully we don't have to worry about that. Not one of Ben's grandparents would harm a hair on his head. I have to remember stories like these when I am annoyed by my inlaws though, because really I am so fortunate. They may annoy me but they love that little boy more than anything and when he is with them I don't have to worry about a thing. Thank you Grandma & Grandpa!
Daddy and Ben in my new office
Well for anyone who has been keeping up with me my office was recently renovated! It needed it and it looks great. Daddy and Ben came by to visit the other day and of course I had to take a picture of them. They always photograph well together! The Alabama mug is not mine - I share the office with my boss who is usually only there once a week so it works out great. He is a fabulous boss though so it wouldn't matter if he was there all of the time. We get along wonderfully and I am so grateful to finally have a boss like him after having horrible ones at my previous job. Anyway, Ben was happy to see Mommy at work and it made my day to see both of them.
Imagination
Having my son has opened my eyes to so many things that I am sure at one point I knew but have forgotten while busy trying to be an adult. Recently he has started a new game where we (myself or Daddy) have to talk like the character he has chosen for us. The last few nights it has been Minnie Mouse. So he says to me "Talk like Minnie" and I must perform on command. It has reminded me of how simple life really should be. Something so silly and small is a huge thing to him and it makes him so happy. A three year old's imagination can take them so many places that I forgot existed! Now, it is all coming back and I feel that same joy I felt as a child when I played those same games. That same giddy excitement is felt when he is giggling because I am making the silly Minnie voice. He is reminding me again of what is truly important in life and I hope I continue to hold onto that and never forget that again.
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